boy swim wear: mika, of course your sd12 needs to cover her top. i think you'd be arrested otherwise. :-o however, you can arrange some sort of compromise. who knows, maybe your sd will start a new rage. how about wearing a tankini top and boy bottoms? a lot of teenaged girls think it's cool to wear boy boxers and trunks. in the swim world, loose-fitting and comfortable clothes are the norm, not what looks trendy. sd16 has a bunch of clothes that are pretty asexual (sweatpants, tees).
boy swim wear: i was so uncomfortable with my body at age 12 or so that i wore a long tee-shirt over my suit for at least a year. i think that's pretty common (or else i'm a freak, lol). i wouldn't refuse to allow your sd to wear the boy swim trunks, but i would insist she cover her top in some way. i really don't think your sd would want to expose her top, would she? if so, that's something very odd that's probably more an indication of the abuse she endured than anything within the general purview of teenagehood.
boy swim wear: the first thing you should do is observe what the boys are wearing. the last time i was in canada, it was fairly common for boys to wear swim briefs (in fact, i remember a boy in a hotel getting on the elevator to ride down to the hotel pool wearing nothing but his swim briefs, which i've never seen happen in the u.s.). but perhaps that's changed, or perhaps it depends on where in canada you are. if at least some of the boys are wearing briefs, it probably won't create a sensation if you wear them, too.
boy swim wear: another issue is whether you should only wear your briefs when you are in the water, and put on shorts whenever you are out of the water (e.g., giving swim instruction from the side of the pool). again, i'd suggest observing what the boys do.
boy swim wear: there may also be an argument for wearing your briefs when you are in the water, even if none of the boys are doing this, if the youth organization you are working with doesn't object. one of the things boys should learn when they're getting stroke training, imo, is that serious swimmers wear competitive swimwear. if a boy notices that the adult leaders who are really into swimming wear competitive swimwear, he's likely to associate competitive swimwear with serious swimming and feel a lot more comfortable wearing it when/if he gets serious about swimming.
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